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…. Goodbye

Another retirement party for a Giant. Randy Johnson is retiring, which means that, once again, Giants fans watch a player go from being signed by Brian Sabean to being out of baseball, only something like the tenth player to do so over the last three years.

January 6th, 2010 | Posted in Brian Sabean, Free Agents, NL West, San Francisco Giants

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Comment by Hulka

2010-01-06 14:55:33

I don’t think anyone, including Sabean, seriously expected Johnson to contribute more than a victory lap and a momentary boost at the turnstiles when he got his 300th win.

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Comment by Hulka

2010-01-06 14:57:59

…so I don’t think it’s fair to compare him to all the other aging veterans that Sabean and co. expected, against all evidence, to get some longer-term value out of.

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Comment by trantor

2010-01-06 16:09:44

The point being, not that Johnson was a bad signing, but is typical of a Sabean signing – get ‘em just before they fall into the grave.

Clearly, Omar was released a year early – I am sure even Sabean thought he would retire. Just think, we finally found a player too old to be (re) signed by Sabean. Amazing.

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Comment by +mia

2010-01-06 17:48:35

Yup. Basically $8million for 6 quality starts and a 2 month all-expenses summer vacation in Arizona. Just another act in the continuing carnival of fatsos, oldsters, tweeters, and poser-rockers in 2009.

With the departure of Winn and Aurilia, the Giants finally rid themselves of the last two sommeliers (Dave Roberts being the third) of no hit, no runs, and no walks, so no more vineyard vignettes to distract fans from the woes of offensive ineptitude.

Nice to know that Orville and Sabean continue with the promised youth movement by tripling the size of Juan Uribes contract to $3.25 million. According to his Dominican birth certificate, Juan Gordo-Cinco is 30 years old. And according to his Dominican dental records, this dood has 32 teeth.

The 2010 season will feature an ark in McCovey’s cove. Burials in the cove will be offered for newly signed Giants players who expire from old age between innings or from Sudden Gastro-Acid Shock Syndrome after gorging at the post game spread.

The Giants will continue to lead the way in helping $19million per year commissioner Hubert Selig speed up game play by increasing their abs per walk from a MLB worst of 14.1 to 42–about one walk every 1.5 games.

By being more aggressive with opposing pitchers who lack command, the Giants look to improve their contact by aggressively enlarging the strike zone. The theory being that the fewer pitches that opposing pitchers throw, the lesser the opportunity for opposing pitchers to discern holes in their swings. This is an excellent example of reverse psychology; one of Sabean’s many new innovations in the new and improved “Giants Way”.

They also hope to cut down on the number of pitches that opposing starters will have to throw per inning from 13 to 4.6 by hacking at more sliders in the dirt, loopy curveballs at the backfoot, hanging change-ups at the eyes and by taking 84mph fastballs down the middle of the plate for called strikes. This will enable Giants pitchers to get out of the dugout quickly and back onto the field quickly to get maximum sun tan time. Look for the new ultra-violet lights to be introduced on “Coppertone-Suntan Lotion” Night, where all persons of non-color will receive free samples of the lotion.

In other developments, the paparazzi at ESPN are all aflutter because Matt Holliday received and accepted a 7 year, $120 million dollar deal from PERENNIAL WINNERS AND CONTENDERS St. Louis Cards. They are simply aghast at the duration and amount of the contract. They are simply astounded that Matt Holliday would not accept less money to play for the Red Sox or Yankees or Mets. Astounded I say!

The Giants will pay Zito more this year, next year, the year after that, and the year after that.

Stupid Cards! Sabean sure showed them!

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Comment by Fishchum

2010-01-06 18:10:52

Holliday’s contract is pretty awful, IMO. He’ll be 30 this season which means whomever is left holding that contract will be overpaying him in the last few years. Not to mention they’ll have to pay Pujols even more in a couple of years, effectively locking up 40% of their payroll on two players – and without the farm system to produce a lot of cheap, young talent to surround two guys making a combined $40 million a season (estimated).

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Comment by +mia

2010-01-06 22:21:19

Holliday’s contract is pretty awful, IMO.

Yes. For the Giants and everybody else who could have used a nice 900 OPS guy in left field. Especially since the last time the Giants were any good, they happened to have such a player in left field, and haven’t been worth two shits on an asphalt shingle since.

That the Cards may or may not have a potential cash crunch in two years? How nice that everybody at ESPN is concerned about how much the Cards will have in their operating account in 2012. I don’t think the folks turning the stiles in Busch Stadium or the pitching staff who are direct beneficiaries of his run production are too awfully fucking concerned about that particular issue.

Meantime Giants fans get to look forward to Thumbface Urban chat up “Zeets” during the Unicorn hour about his offseason workout and his new-improved approach to bed shitting.

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Comment by Blair Conrad

2010-01-07 12:38:15

“two shits on an asphalt shingle”

Where do you get this stuff? Hilarious.

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Comment by +mia

2010-01-07 19:34:09

True Story.

We had moved into a new townhouse and had two young dogs, who were left home indoors during the day as it was winter time. Well they got to tearing up the carpet digging for treasure, bones and old slow ballplayers and whatever else drives canines to dig. End result to save the house and the furniture, I had to build a big ass all-weather dog house, complete with asphalt shingles, so they would have shelter during inclement weather.

It was pretty big, about 30 square feet (big ass dogs). By jumping up on the roof, they could peer over the 7 foot fence, but not so they could clear the fence. So the first day they were left outside, to express their displeasure at being banned to the great outdoors, I came home to sight of two great big piles of shit they left on the roof.

A few months later we moved to Sonoma County with few neighbors, many acres and lots of room for them to leave their calling cards.

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Comment by Blair Conrad

2010-01-08 10:29:23

I was thinking that this could not possibly be some random thought or collection of words thrown together.

Don’t ever stop writing on the blog, it keeps me sane to hear your insanity.

-bc

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Comment by +mia

2010-01-08 11:45:30

Why thank you. The insanity, inanity and skewering, like my mind, is for amusement purposes only.

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Comment by Geoffrey

2010-01-07 10:45:58

Sabeans only problem with Johnson is that he won his 300th game on the road rather than helping to fill out Mays Field asmuch as possible.

With regards to the Holliday contract, long-term it probably works out as an ok deal (he’ll be worth more for a few years and then less for a few). On the other hand the Cards are clearly pushing for another World Series in the next 3-4 years and if Holliday helps them do that then it probably doesn’t matter if he falls off a cliff offensively afterwards. I’ve also read somewhere that they will defer around $2m per year to 2029 meaning over the 7 years they are paying nearer $100m then $120m.

Sabean has said his priority is now a left-handed bat, so who do we prefer out of the available options; Blalock? Branyon? Cust? Delgado? Sweeney? Thome? Ankiel? Damon? Posednik? If they’re signed cheap then it doesn’t make too much difference to me. Problem is Sabean will probably overspend and offer too many years the $17m 2yr offer to LaRoche being proof of this.

I’ve not really seen it mentioned much here but what are peoples thoughts on acquiring a 5th starter? If they can be had cheap then Wang, Sheets, Garland, Washburn and Bedard could be interseting. I would prefer MadBum to start the year in AAA and possibly move into the rotation mid-year depending how things go.

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Comment by +mia

2010-01-07 19:39:22

Yeah, from what little of Bumgarner I saw, he really does need some seasoning.

If there had not been so much bad blood, it would have been nice to take a flyer with Noah Lowry. Their best option and the guy that saved their season, Brad Penny, joined St. Louis.

I dont’ know. I don’t think a lot of it really matters. Even a clown like Adam LaRoche doesn’t have any interest in playing here if you can believe it…such is the bad rap the organization is getting.

They really need to clean house in the front office, and the farm system Entrenched outdated prejudicial evaluating of players. They just seem to pick up the refuse that few want and hope to cobble something together. They really have no long range plan, and your better players don’t want to spend the best days of their career careening around the USS Caine while Brian Sabean tries to find the culprit who stole his missing strawberries.

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Comment by Mark

2010-01-07 17:19:12

Bring in Pedro so one legend can replace another!

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Comment by trantor

2010-01-07 18:55:09

The only reason Sandoval is in a ML uniform is he delivered huge in short order. The Giants do not have the patience to play an Ishikawa, Bowker, Schierholz, etc for a full year or more to let them develop. A great example is the Rockies. Look at the terrible interim performances they put up with to get the results they got with Barmes, etc.

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Comment by +mia

2010-01-07 19:25:56

amen!

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Comment by Sports Blog

2010-01-08 21:29:11

@Mark – good call on Pedro. I mean, why not?

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Comment by trantor

2010-01-10 00:44:49

I just saw the ZIPs projections for 2010 for the Giants.
Pablo Sandoval# 3b 23 .320 .368 .516 157 597 85 191 43 4 22 110 44 81 2 2 129
Ryan Garko 1b 29 .285 .356 .460 129 435 44 124 23 1 17 67 34 71 0 0 113
Fred Lewis* lf 29 .274 .352 .427 129 391 68 107 22 7 8 46 44 98 9 4 104
Mark DeRosa 3b 35 .273 .345 .434 121 433 63 118 24 2 14 73 44 88 2 1 104
Nate Schierholtz* rf 26 .289 .325 .459 131 425 55 123 27 6 11 62 20 68 4 2 103
John Bowker* lf 26 .269 .338 .434 137 475 62 128 25 4 15 76 47 100 4 3 102
Aaron Rowand cf 32 .273 .335 .431 132 476 59 130 31 1 14 72 32 104 3 1 100
Buster Posey c 23 .263 .343 .398 126 467 67 123 25 1 12 67 53 83 3 1 95

(formatting probably did not come though, so just check out the player/OPS+)
Pablo Sandoval# 129 Moving to 1B, where any dumbf**k could be signed)
Ryan Garko 113 (DFA – not good enough for this team!)
Fred Lewis* 104 (Probably being released/DFA – not good enough for this team)
Mark DeRosa 104 (Major signing! as productive as Lewis, but $6m more)
Nate Schierholtz 103 (Had a hard time getting AB’s – probably same in 2010)
John Bowker* 102 (Will have a hard time making club/getting AB’s if he does)
Aaron Rowand 100 (Fixture in CF)
Buster Posey 95 (not ready?)

Those are the 8 BEST players the Giants have. One is history. One is likely history. Two are going to have problems making the team. One is considered “not ready”. The highest value player on the team? Lets move him to 1B, where his contribution is greatly diminished. Only one of their best hitters is sure to start every day. (Maybe DeRosa, so lets call it two hitters.)

That says it all about Sabean & company’s team building. Don’t give AB’s to upcomers like Schierholtz/Bowker/Posey/Lewis. Give them to “proven” ML’ers like Aurelia, Winn, Renteria. I would be shocked if both Schierholtz and Bowker were starters from day one, even if the team doesn’t sign another player. And lets get Holm or Whiteside’s bats in there.

Those being our 8 best projected hitters? I give them the most AB’s. But not the Giants. That is another reason why this team management sucks.

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