Only Baseball Matters

…. Couldn’t resist

Bill Simmons is one of the funniest writers alive:

Q: So you’re looking for the four-way version of paper-rock-scissors that makes the most sense? I think I found it: blow-booze-weed-sleep. Yes, booze will defeat blow and weed will defeat booze. Sleep can beat weed and of course, blow beats sleep. Granted I don’t behave this way EVERY day.
– Vaughn, Philly

SG: Hold on, I have a better one …

Q: My friend almost got into an altercation with a guy who had a hook instead of a hand. He contends that having a hook for a hand would be an advantage in a bar fight (for the obvious reasons); but I contend that because the prosthesis included the guy’s forearm, it would be a disadvantage as arm speed and dexterity were reduced with the lack of arm muscle. What are your thoughts?
– Adam, Washington, D.C.

SG: Almost there …

Q: My friends and I were discussing the two-faced lady in the Southwest Airlines commercial that you are so fond of. Well, say one of her faces is eating a banana and the other is eating a corn dog. Would the corn dog and banana touch, or do the faces have two separate throats? They probably share a throat, right?
– Jarric, Lawrence, Kan.

SG: Yup, these are my readers

That’s good stuff….

Sorry for the lack of posts, I have a partially torn tendon in my right elbow, and a similar injury in my left, which has interrupted my entire life. No wrist or hand work…. pretty much nothing. I am having surgery Wednesday the 15th, and will be down for the count for most of the rest of the year, as I’ve been for most of the second half of the summer already. Should be back at full strength (at least with my right hand) somewhere in the beginning of ’09, then I may have to have surgery on the left as well.

Thanks to those who’ve sent their support, and as always, to everyone for making OBM so great.

I’ll be back….

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