I find myself constantly amazed by my inability to lower my expectations of people fast enough to catch up with their performance. Now that the Bonds book is soon to hit the shelves, Seligula, one of the strangest and misplaced men in power that I could ever have imagined, is either going to or not going to investigate Barry Bonds because of the allegations made in another headline grabbing book.
What is disappointing isn’t that Selig is wrongly targeting Bonds because of his record-breaking performances, or that he shouldn’t even bother to investigate whether 4 or 6 years ago, Bonds did or didn’t do, what was or wasn’t against the rules of the game he dominated.
What’s really wrong is that Selig’s investigation of Bonds will happen because of all the horseshit hysteria surrounding this issue, because of the constant whining by Gary Wadler and Dick Pound about how baseball has to save the world by making players pee in more cups, subject themselves to endless types of blood tests and breathalizers, because of the constant agonizing about the children, “who’ll save the children” by an equally endless stream of Senator’s and Congressman and Governor’s and sportswriters, (let’s not forget the sportswriters, bent on saving baseball from such horrible, arrogant players).
Selig will launch an investigation, I can see that now, and we will once again see a mighty, Hall of Fame player have his name dragged through the gutter with all the low-lifes and scum that he allowed himself to be surrounded by, (no sportswriter – or Congressman, for that matter- ever spent time gambling or doing drugs or hanging out with lowlifes, right?). Another superstar who, in reality, gave us countless magical moments of baseball immortality and history that we’ll never forget, but who forgot to genuflect at the altar of the sportswriters and now will pay the ultimate price, because he’s an asshole, people, remember, he’s a real asshole.
Another player who dedicated his life to being the best he could possibly be will now be indicted and convicted by a preponderance of evidence gathered by a monumental tight-ass like John Dowd or Kenneth Starr, who will compile a lengthy and critical report, citing numerous named and un-named sources, men and women who will sell out another person for personal gain, because our superstars have to be perfect, always sign the children’s autographs, every last one, (remember the children, that cocksucker Bonds won’t save the children).
Lowest common denominator, lowest expectations, demonize and cauterize, back to Salem for America, all to save the children, please God Almighty, SAVE THE CHILDREN!!!!
If Selig has any balls at all he will tell everyone that the circus is over, that he has gone as far as he is willing to go, everyone makes mistakes, and it’s time to move on. If he has any character, any strength of resolve, he will stop capitulating to the drum beat being hammered by Verducci and Lupica and these ridiculous politicians knocking each other over racing to the microphones and cameras to let us all know that they love America and that they will save the children, (please God Almighty, SAVE THE CHILDREN!!!!) and the rest of these pompous crusaders, and tell everyone to get the hell off his back.
But do I expect that to happen? ;-)